Hold me once more...

Its been a long while, in fact its six months since I last published any article. Over the time, I have really learned a lot. A friend of mine (Allan Thuo) once asked me to always learn more than I teach, he always challenged me to work loads to growing myself spiritually more than I imagine of teaching others how to grow. Here I am out of my cocoon and as always wish to share in a series form what I have been learning over the last half an year. My Best Friend has really been on my case for not sharing lessons of my schooling and here is my write up. ( She is an author to check her blog on Imani Ngeru's Wordpress Link  ).

My hands are free, Hold ME.

I had a chance to see my small sister from Day one on the 14th Day of September 2002, yes she is now 14 years.I really loved how she was welcomed to this world with gifts and a lot of excitement from our Family, The Panuels and beyond it was untold joy, a new child. How mama would hold her in her arms all day, suckling and been given that Tender Loving Care, I used to wonder whether it was the same that had happened to me in my days.

Those are days when mama would be home so early, or even days when her greatest occupation was to take care of our life joy, Charity Panuels. You could hardly get her off Mama's hands, and if you were lucky  to, then it would be after consent from Mama. You had to sanitize your hands prior to holding her. My memory is and was awash by all and till today, when they linger, I still fancy and treasure each of them moments.
She is now all grown, (finishing her Primary school this year). Unlike the days of the Old, She now can do most things on her own, actually, division of roles in the house can never be complete if she hasn't a role on her head. More to it, she is also consulted on some decisions we need to come to as a family.

Well with growth comes such experiences. Its time she learned to crush the bones and to pull the cart as well. Its never about her in the home again, she is now reprimanded just like any other of us, the old days she would get way with it for being a baby but not the same anymore. She has had to go through ups and downs. But one thing about her, there is always how she behaves, of course due to how she feels when near mama and Papa. She still knows that she is the youngest and still deserves preferential treatment both by fact and by reason of us all, The Panuels.

But where am I going with all this? Its definitely not about Charity. I learn from observing and am sure in her head as she will be reading this, she will be like, "Daddy and Mama, Hold Me Once More." Yes, I have grown, Yes I am big but I still wish you hold me once more. I can do all this on myself, I can pray on my own, I can sing on my own, I can worship on my own, But still Hold me one more, show me the coveted Tender Loving care once more.

This is the point am getting in life, I just deserve to be Held once more, I need to feel Him so close all over again. I need to feel the Warmth of His embrace, The Joy of His sufficient grace, The comforting grip of His mighty and Holy hands over my life, once more Is all I wish for. There are times when God feels so far, Those are times praying has been a challenge, those are times when songs  flock my mind, those are the times I need Him to hold me once more. Just like my Sister would feel in the hands of Mama and Papa.

I have come to agree that Unless His grip has me clenched to His fists, Unless His love Surrounds me, Unless His power is Manifest in my life, Then this is the probably the last breathe am on. So Jesus, Just hold me once more, Please Lord, I surrender my Physique, I surrender my intellect, I surrender my Intelligence, Lord unto your hands do I lay today, Yes Lord Hold me once more. I may have grown Yes, I may seem accomplished yes, I may seem as though I can do it on my own, But Lord, Unless you hold me, my boat is capsizing, my tent is caving in and the story of my life is soon reaching an end, so I pray Hold me Lord, Guide my path, am aware that My iniquities have for long separated me from your love, I deserve your wrath not mercy, But I pray still that you hold me in your arms. Lord let your love be the reason I live, your grace be how I live and your mercy the way I live.

Friends of God, This day, I bring to you a Man of the Tribe of Judah, May He hold you as He does to me, free away all those things that may be in His way of getting access to you and holding you closely, Is it sin?. Is it lust? Is it Friends?. Is it money and material, ? You know Better but Let Go and Let God.

Papa, here I am now, HOLD ME ONCE MORE